Now Trending in “Ugly” Holiday Attire: Your Definitive 2017 Guide

Prepare ye: National Ugly Sweater Day is December 15th, so if your desire is to be the envy of every nog-guzzling, mistletoe-manipulating, Pollyanna-party-gift-exchanging coworker this holiday season, then stop whatever unimportant task you’re doing and check out 818 Agency’s irreverent, ahead-of-the-curve, thoroughly researched guide to unseemly greatness. This year’s heavy hitters: Whoopi Goldberg, Unicorns, DC Comics, Fiona the Hippo, Elf Rompers (no, srsly), and basically anything/everything EIGHTIES!

 


Cryptocurrency may be all the rage (we see you, Winklevii), but nothing says “buy and hold” more than procuring your very own ugly (read: festive) holiday sweater, preferably personalized.

First things first: The Ugly Hoodie may be the new Ugly Sweater.

 

Black Cat Christmas Hoodie

 

By no means should your sweater game be considered immaterial. Whoopi Goldberg recently set the standard (and redefined side hustle) by channeling her efforts into ugly holiday attire and thereby offering up her most interesting work since Ghost.

 

Whoopi Goldberg Ugly Sweater Zappos

 

As anticipated, the bounty of options on the world wide web range from the tacky…


Tipsy Elves Beer Pong Sweater

…to the terrifying.

 

Men's Ugly Sweater Short Suit

 

Even though it’s all in good spirit — and, in some cases, for a good cause — it can seem more than a little extra. Does the hype ever add up to anything more than a mere chuckle? Inevitably, one asks, am I going too far with it — or not far enough?

Put fears aside and overcome self-doubt by creating your own statement-making print. Whether it’s your favorite nerdy subculture, of-the-moment enterprise, or soon-to-be-canceled trend, no fashion choice can be considered “ugly” unless you made it unintentionally.

 

Your Pet Here Ugly Sweater Personalized

Unicorns: We’re All About It (Since 1495)

While some mythical equines enjoy year-round popularity, this holiday season is the unicorn’s turn to shine.

Holiday Unicorn Sweater

 

Meanwhile, be sure to visit the Met Cloisters at Manhattan’s Northwesternmost edge for a look at the OGs (circa Early Sixteenth Century).

Ils Chantaient dans les Années Quatre-Vingt

Stranger Things Holiday Sweater

Yeah, sure, Stranger Things is pretty great, but even diehard fans will admit that it’s the nostalgia and longing for real ‘80s awesomeness that gives the Netflix hit its edge.

Though it technically never went out of style, we’re glad to see The Dark Crystal has made its comeback in sweater form.

Dark Crystal Ugly Holiday Sweater

It’s Christmas in Gotham

Let’s be real: You can talk about Flash and Green Lantern all you want, but Bruce Wayne is indubitably fiction’s greatest vigilante.

 

Batman Ugly Christmas Holiday Sweater

Venite, Venite in Cincinnati

This year, everybody literally wants a hippopotamus for Christmas. (Her name’s Fiona, and she’s Cin City’s bébé du jour.)

 

Fiona the HIppo Holiday Sweater

Super (Zipper) Fly

We can’t decide how we feel about rompers in general, therefore editorializing may or may not resume at a later date.

 

Elf Romper

Five Positive Side Effects of (Possibly) Demeaning Yourself

  1. Early boarding on Alaska Airlines.

  2. Reducing plastic bag waste.

  3. Being a part of something bigger and greater than yourself.

  4. Sticking it to the Patriarchy.

  5. Spending quality time with those you love (e.g. being the best version of you).

Lauren Gaines Washington Post

Featured Image Credit: Ilias Jimenez, via DrChinwagDesign.

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